Brilliant

It was too much pressure. Caiden ran away. Look perfect. Act perfect. Be perfect. And be brilliant.

It was the only thing that he could ever be in her eyes; and yet he didn't know it. He said he had nothing to prove but deep down he'd never believed it. He thought he could never measure up. They had beaten him down; the other ones, they said he was stupid, and ugly. A failure. They called him names and mocked him. He hated them. They were his best friends.

He hadn't minded so much until he met her; Lily. Then everything had changed. He loved her, but he knew she could never feel the same. 

He was wrong.

She thought he was beautiful and brilliant. In her eyes, he could be perfect. With her he thought, maybe his life could be different; he could escape the trap he was caught in; his life, his friends.

But they laughed at her too. Taunted him and called her the names they'd once called him. Oh how he hated them. He even stopped seeing her. Stopped calling her and talking to her so that they would leave her alone. He tried to protect her from the hell he'd been put through. But it didn't stop them, and it only hurt her, as she didn't know what was going on, only that her beloved Caiden had stopped being her friend.

Lily would've taken care of them if only she'd known. Somehow, she would've fixed it so that they could never hurt anyone again; certainly not her Caiden. But she never knew, because he had never told her.

There was just an absence in her life now. A hole where his bright shiny words had been & now... the void of nothingness sucked her dry & made her life hell too.

So they were both living in hell, apart, separated by silence & mocking.

She hadn't heard from him in weeks. She was heartsick, wondering what had happened to him, and trying desperately to figure out what she had done to make him leave. She was left with a photograph and his brilliant words, love sonnets he had written just for her. Reading them made her cry, left her sobbing into her pillow every night. This could never be enough.

But she was committed to waiting for him, as long as it took. She would give him all the time that he needed. And she knew that one day, he would return to her. She was certain of it.

Everyday she would look at his picture, and speak words over it. Magic words; a spell. She wasn't even sure where it came from, only that when she looked at his photograph, the incantation flowed from her lips. It frightened her and excited her at the same time. Words had made him run away, could words bring him back?

She held his picture to her breast and closed her eyes. She could feel him, he was so near. More words came from her mouth, they were his words, and they were brilliant.

He was coming back to her, he loved her. The magic words came from him, he always knew exactly what to say. He truly had a gift.

He was brilliant.

©2011 Garden Summerland

Soul Kiss

I imagine your lips, those sweet sweet honey lips that I have kissed before; over and over again in every imaginable erotic scenario. I want to reside forever inside the warmth and pleasure of your mouth; embracing your slow and succulent, long burning hell-fire kisses even as they send shards of ice through my veins because I cannot have you. Because I will never have you.

I relinquish my will to you, surrendering to this overpowering obsession, if but for one more, just one more moment of the searing ecstasy of your mouth upon mine... imagined kisses that burn up the stars in my eyes, and briefly extinguish the agony of my soul.

I dream of your mouth, methodically devouring mine, and it freezes my blood stone cold and turns my heart inside out as I beg for you; pleading softly, incessantly for one more touch as the darkness of the night colors soundlessly into day.

I awaken~ aching from holding you in my arms, my body burned and depleted of every ounce of resistance.... I have given everything for you, and still I awaken alone.

I sob uncontrollably. In the middle of the day I scream out your name to an empty existence; I love you.

Please come to me.... I will fulfill your every want; I will quench every carnal desire you could every possibly fathom. I will worship you, and you will fall to me, fall for me, fall with me. You are the pinnacle of my desire, the angel inside the marble; I want you.

I look at your face and everything is beautifully mirrored from inside of myself.... purity and honesty and the unbridled passion of eons of time surpassed only by the fervent aspirations that your lips ignite against mine.

All of this for a kiss; for your kiss. Sweet lips lighting an eternal flame; a soul kiss.

©2011 Garden Summerland

Secret Smile

You have given me a secret smile.

It is the hope that I cling to on my lonely journey; the life I live without you.

This is my remembrance of you; your charming manner and your delightful sensitivity, the soothing comfort in which you indulge me. I miss you and I wonder if you will ever return.

These endless trials of solitude and the sleepy late night embraces of the mind are my dreams that fade to gray and then back again. I slumber and yet I am wide-awake, dreaming and then not. I imagine your sweet mouth, burning upon mine and I long for the pleasure of your kisses. I feel your hot breath against my neck, it makes me smile.

My secret smile.

I recall your brilliant words cascading over my doubt, my loss, my sanity. I know that you must return to me; my love, my heart, my soul.

You are here every night in my dreams; as I awaken with a smile.

We will always be together; somewhere~ in my daydreams and in nightly visions, in fantasy and fairy tales. And I will always have the smile you have given me.

I imagine you now; you have come to me in the night. Your eyes sparkle in the darkness, and your pale skin is luminescent in the moonlight that filters through a stained glass window beneath a blackened sky. You are beautiful; and I will love you.

Right now, somewhere far from me, I know you smile; your secret smile.

Our secret smile.

Waiting

With impassioned desire and an unfathomable ache, I wait for you.

How long must I suffer? I close my eyes and at last I feel your touch.

Gentle at first, your hands everywhere upon my bare flesh as I give myself unreservedly to you.

I recall the innocent pleasure of your mouth upon mine; as I become lost again in the solace of your momentary abandon. Your mouth is on fire, tearing me apart and filling my very soul with searing flames I cannot extinguish. I pine for you, willing to sacrifice the essence of my being for that one unrestrained touch as your devotion envelops me, soothing my distress. 

I miss you.

Tonight my love, you will come to me again; for when I close my eyes, you are mine. I have chained myself to the faith of our never-ending desire. Unable to stop the deluge of thoughts you have created within me; You are my insatiable desire. I will wait and I will endure, I must because it is all that I have left of you. And yet, I will awaken once more, alone in my bed; tasting the sweetness of your love on my lips.

These are the thoughts I have of you night and day; thoughts that are ripping me apart. Chipping away at my sanity. I cannot escape them, it has become who I am. Waiting, always waiting for you. 

As long as it takes.

©2011 Garden Summerland

Cruel Dreams

I felt you last night.

Your bare skin against mine, your hands searching my body;

Accepting your release as I surrendered my soul to you.

Once again your lips ravaging every inch of me;

an insurmountable desire coursing through your veins.

This unstoppable need that devours your will;

A need only satiated within the sanctuary of my devotion.

You came to me;

Alone and wanting.

Endless pleasures awaiting you;

Ones you will not, and cannot deny any longer.

You feel my intense passion raging inside your heart;

I am a relentless hunger, burning into you.

You felt me last night.

My naked skin against yours, my hands searching your body.

You have surrendered your soul to my wants, to satisfy my every desire;

As you revel in the transcendent ecstasy of my touch,

and the slow tender kisses that set the very essence of your being on fire.

My dreams have brought you to me, and then taken you away.

I have endured lifetimes across miles of time and space;

Only to suffer again, as I am left waiting for you.

Forever; for you.

Always you. 

©2011 Garden Summerland

Gone

I cannot get your memory out of my head.

The harder I try, the deeper you become embedded into my heart.

My tears flow easily as I question what I have done to make you go away.

You never even gave me a chance.

Never a chance to show you what was inside my heart.

Dare I say it?

No not ever.

And now you have gone away. You will never know.

With every tear I cry, a little more of my love is lost on you.

I wish I were with you now;

Stroking your hair and lying with you on your bed.

Laying my head against your chest,

And listening to your heart beat.

Forever.

Instead, I cry; because I know that will never happen.

We are in two different worlds that will never meet.

My only solace is that you never knew how I felt.

You were spared the burden of my imagined passions;

And now you are gone.

You shattered me into little tiny pieces;

Blind to the truth that rips my heart into shreds.

I still cry for you every night;

Futile cries in the dark, because you can never be mine.

I grieve for you now in poetic verse,

my words falling upon deaf ears;

Because you are gone.

©2011 Garden Summerland 

Soul

I licked his lips; he tasted like salt and our night of erotic play. 

“Good morning.” I whispered and moved against him, pulling his body closer to mine. He was still half asleep as he kissed me deeply and we replayed the passion of the night before, again and again. I could never get enough of him.

Now he was exhausted. I watched him as he slept peacefully; trying to permanently impress this moment into my mind. In just a few short hours, I would be gone. They would come for me. And I would have no choice but to leave. I would have to say good -bye. For a very long time, if not forever. He was the only happiness I had ever known.

I had run away. I could no longer live their duplicitous lifestyle. I was torn between the miserable solitude of life everlasting, and the essence of his purity that ran through my veins. Last night, I made a choice. And even though I knew that it would change nothing, I renounced them. At least now they knew where my loyalties lie. I had come to him, and I had loved him all night. I wanted to make it last forever. But now...it was almost over. They had given me 24 hours. And I had laughed at them. They couldn't take me away from him now. Or could they? I fought the painful truth as I watched him dream. I stroked his hair, bestowing ethereal visions of the two of us in ecstasy. He smiled. And as he made love to me in his dreams, they were coming for me.

I cried.

He didn't even know. He thought I had come back for good. When he awakened, I would be long gone, and he would think it had all been a dream. They would take care of that at least. Spare him the pain.

I would not be so lucky. They would make certain that I felt pain. Excruciating mental anguish for eons to come, oh yes, I would be made to suffer. They would make an example out of me. The one that tried to leave them. And for what?

There were quite a few perks that came with our way of life. But freedom had never been one of them. Kind with kind; that was their law. And I had broken it. I had fallen in love with him; a mere boy. I was old enough to be his great grandmother. Something else he would never know, because I didn't look a day over 21.

He stirred & sleepily opened his eyes... my charms could not hold him, he felt my emotions as though they were his own. I looked into his sweet hazel eyes and felt his soul stirring with fervid desire.

Tears flowed freely from my eyes and I begged them; screaming at them in my head... please, please don't take me back.

He was smiling as I felt them pulling me away. I fought them as I bent down to kiss him one last time. My lips touched his and for a moment, we were in his dreams... ecstasy like I had never known. He cried with me and then he laughed.

He was my soul. 

©2011 Garden Summerland