Wednesday, July 20, 2011


It was too much pressure. Caiden ran away. Look perfect. Act perfect. Be perfect. And be brilliant.
It was the only thing that he could ever be in her eyes; and yet he didn't know it. He said he had nothing to prove but deep down he'd never believed it. He thought he could never measure up. They had beaten him down; the other ones, they said he was stupid, and ugly. A failure. They called him names and mocked him. He hated them. They were his best friends.

He hadn't minded so much until he met her; Lily. Then everything had changed. He loved her, but he knew she could never feel the same. 
He was wrong.
She thought he was beautiful and brilliant. In her eyes, he could be perfect. With her he thought, maybe his life could be different; he could escape the trap he was caught in; his life, his friends.
But they laughed at her too. Taunted him and called her the names they'd once called him. Oh how he hated them. He even stopped seeing her. Stopped calling her and talking to her so that they would leave her alone. He tried to protect her from the hell he'd been put through. But it didn't stop them, and it only hurt her, as she didn't know what was going on, only that her beloved Caiden had stopped being her friend.

Lily would've taken care of them if only she'd known. Somehow, she would've fixed it so that they could never hurt anyone again; certainly not her Caiden. But she never knew, because he had never told her.
There was just an absence in her life now. A hole where his bright shiny words had been & now... the void of nothingness sucked her dry & made her life hell too.

So they were both living in hell, apart, separated by silence & mocking.

She hadn't heard from him in weeks. She was heartsick, wondering what had happened to him, and trying desperately to figure out what she had done to make him leave. She was left with a photograph and his brilliant words, love sonnets he had written just for her. Reading them made her cry, left her sobbing into her pillow every night. This could never be enough.

But she was committed to waiting for him, as long as it took. She would give him all the time that he needed. And she knew that one day, he would return to her. She was certain of it.
Everyday she would look at his picture, and speak words over it. Magic words; a spell. She wasn't even sure where it came from, only that when she looked at his photograph, the incantation flowed from her lips. It frightened her and excited her at the same time. Words had made him run away, could words bring him back?
She held his picture to her breast and closed her eyes. She could feel him, he was so near. More words came from her mouth, they were his words, and they were brilliant.
He was coming back to her, he loved her. The magic words came from him, he always knew exactly what to say. He truly had a gift.
He was brilliant.

©2011 Garden Summerland

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Soul Kiss

I imagine your lips, those sweet sweet honey lips that I have kissed before; over and over again in every imaginable erotic scenario. I want to reside forever inside the warmth and pleasure of your mouth; embracing your slow and succulent, long burning hell-fire kisses even as they send shards of ice through my veins because I cannot have you. Because I will never have you.

I relinquish my will to you, surrendering to this overpowering obsession, if but for one more, just one more moment of the searing ecstasy of your mouth upon mine... imagined kisses that burn up the stars in my eyes, and briefly extinguish the agony of my soul.

I dream of your mouth, methodically devouring mine, and it freezes my blood stone cold and turns my heart inside out as I beg for you; pleading softly, incessantly for one more touch as the darkness of the night colors soundlessly into day.

I awaken~ aching from holding you in my arms, my body burned and depleted of every ounce of resistance.... I have given everything for you, and still I awaken alone.

I sob uncontrollably. In the middle of the day I scream out your name to an empty existence; I love you.
Please come to me.... I will fulfill your every want; I will quench every carnal desire you could every possibly fathom. I will worship you, and you will fall to me, fall for me, fall with me. You are the pinnacle of my desire, the angel inside the marble; I want you.

I look at your face and everything is beautifully mirrored from inside of myself.... purity and honesty and the unbridled passion of eons of time surpassed only by the fervent aspirations that your lips ignite against mine.

All of this for a kiss; for your kiss. Sweet lips lighting an eternal flame; a soul kiss.

©2011 Garden Summerland

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Secret Smile

You have given me a secret smile.
It is the hope that I cling to on my lonely journey; the life I live without you.

This is my remembrance of you; your charming manner and your delightful sensitivity, the soothing comfort in which you indulge me. I miss you and I wonder if you will ever return.

These endless trials of solitude and the sleepy late night embraces of the mind are my dreams that fade to gray and then back again. I slumber and yet I am wide-awake, dreaming and then not. I imagine your sweet mouth, burning upon mine and I long for the pleasure of your kisses. I feel your hot breath against my neck, it makes me smile.
My secret smile.

I recall your brilliant words cascading over my doubt, my loss, my sanity. I know that you must return to me; my love, my heart, my soul.
You are here every night in my dreams; as I awaken with a smile.

We will always be together; somewhere~ in my daydreams and in nightly visions, in fantasy and fairy tales. And I will always have the smile you have given me.

I imagine you now; you have come to me in the night. Your eyes sparkle in the darkness, and your pale skin is luminescent in the moonlight that filters through a stained glass window beneath a blackened sky. You are beautiful; and I will love you.

Right now, somewhere far from me, I know you smile; your secret smile.
Our secret smile.