Monday, May 23, 2011

Wanted

It only lasted a few seconds; but they were timeless seconds that made me forget everything and everyone except the hotness of his mouth upon mine. For those few moments, I was alive; my dreams existed and long dead fantasies sprang to life.

I pulled myself away just as the others walked past. They were unaware of what had just happened between us. And for a moment, I thought perhaps I had imagined it.
I leaned back against the tree behind me to steady myself and study him as the rest of our group caught up. His eyes were wild and his lips reddened from our fleeting embrace.
My face flushed.
Perhaps coming today had been a mistake. But I knew he would be here. And I knew exactly what would happen. And I did it on purpose.

It sounded innocent: a guided nature walk through the Derrylin forest and a picnic afterward; a community effort to raise awareness for forestry preservation.
But the only thing I had been made aware of were wanton desires I thought I had long ago laid to rest.
As the group filtered in around us, he looked down at the ground, and I tried to appear aloof, staring at nothing in particular.
Neither of us spoke as we regained our composure and wandered off in opposite directions.

I found a comfortable spot away from the main group to eat my lunch; a simple fare of fruit and cheese, and wine, the latter of which I had been expressly asked not to bring. But I needed something to take the edge off the afternoon. I knew that I had wanted this, even to the extent that part of me felt I had orchestrated the entire scene. Deep down I knew that it would bring nothing but trouble; and I weakly admonished myself for even entertaining such an idea, and yet I just couldn't help myself.
He had bewitched me; with seductive pouty lips that drove me mad with an all consuming desire that I had been denying for months. And the most soulful green eyes I had ever seen. I wanted to lose myself in them; in him.

From across the picnic area, he watched me not watching him. I couldn't even look at him. My mind raced out of control with forbidden fantasies. I had wanted him from the first day I saw him.
I was completely and utterly smitten.

After lunch, I decided I would make my excuses and find my way back to my car.
I had planned it all along.
I wandered back down the path, the way we had come, and I took a wrong turn. I was lost.
But that too had been intentional. I knew he would follow me. He couldn't resist me any more than I could resist him.
I waited for him to catch up. He didn't come.
I was a little disappointed, and yet as I continued on my way, getting deeper and deeper into the woods, I still knew he would be there.

The forest was quiet. I turned around. He was watching me from a short distance away.
“You're lost.” he called out in a whisper.
I smiled at him.
He came to me, swiftly without another word.

Longing unfulfilled and months of torture waiting...waiting for this one chance of passion in the sanctuary of the shadowy wood. Exactly as I had imagined, he held my face and kissed me again.
This time, it lasted forever.
It was all I ever wanted.

©2011 Garden Summerland

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