I opened the door and there was Aaron leaning casually against the doorway, with his tousled dark hair hanging down over one eye, and smiling in that way he always did when he knew I was angry at him. He was acting as though nothing was wrong; he was always doing that to me. Not showing up when I expected him to, and popping in unannounced when I hadn't heard from him in days. He was wild and unpredictable. Unreliable and undeniable. I was in love with him and he knew it.
He toyed with me and I couldn't get enough. Sometimes he seemed interested, and then he'd disappear for days. I'd wait anxiously by the phone for calls that never came. He left my e-mails unanswered and ignored my texts. Then he'd write me a poem and show up on my doorstep with flowers. I was confused and maddened, and so very happy in a twisted kind of way.
He sauntered inside without an invitation, and his eyes danced as he watched my face, my cheeks flushing red with anger.
"Aaron, I have always been there for you, and this is how you repay my loyalty? You didn't even call me on my birthday. And then I sat there, alone at the party watching the door all night. Waiting... waiting for you to show up. Where the hell were you? Why can't you just..."
His arm slid around my waist and he pulled me to him, crushing me into his chest. I tried to push him away. I didn't want to play today, I was furious. But then his lips were on mine; the forcefulness of his mouth working an unfair advantage against me. I couldn't help it, I gave in, but only for a moment - just until he pulled his mouth away. His lips brushed my cheek, and his breath was so hot against my skin, my breath quickened and I closed my eyes.
Then he began whispering how much he loved me, and my fury exploded.
"No - no you don't. You don't love me. You just want me whenever you are bored and have nothing else to do. I entertain you. There is a difference. Now turn me loose." I broke free of him and folded my arms across my chest defensively.
He smiled and nodded. He was amused.
"Come on Kari, don't be that way. It was just one night. I was gonna come, I swear it. I just... I had to... work late, honest. Besides, I'm here now aren't I? And you're wrong, I do love you. You just need... you need to lighten up. Be a little more spontaneous. You think everything has to be planned, scheduled, booked in advance and it doesn't. Live a little. Come on... come here. I want to wish you Happy Birthday."
He held his arms out to me. He knew me too well, and he was irresistible.
I was back in his grasp, and his mouth was upon mine again. I felt his hands unbuttoning my blouse, and I was tearing at his shirt. I couldn't explain it, and I couldn't deny myself the intense pleasure his touch had always brought to me. My body was on fire beneath his fingers as he softly caressed my skin, and his lips traveled down my throat.
He stopped abruptly and lifted me up, carrying me into my bedroom. I knew I should tell him 'no'. I should make him leave. But I couldn't, because I didn't want to, and because a part of me knew he was right. I had become too rigid, my life was perfunctory and ordinary. And in his own way, he was teaching me spontaneity. He forced me to live in the moment with him, because it was all that he would give me. I gave myself over to him, knowing that it might be the last time I ever saw him. He was that unpredictable. But I couldn't deny the way he made me feel; I loved him.
©2012 Garden Summerland